Finding the Right Psychologist
One of the things that surprises people when they come to see me is when I tell them they don’t actually have to stay with the first psychologist they were referred to. I hear the same story all the time.
“I just went to my GP.”
“They gave me a name.”
“So I booked in.”
Most people don’t realise they have a choice. I’ve worked with plenty of people who have spent months (sometimes years) with a psychologist they never really clicked with. Not because the psychologist wasn’t good, but because they assumed finding someone else would be difficult, awkward, or somehow disrespectful.
It isn’t.
In fact, I’d encourage it.
Therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all
I’ve met some incredible psychologists throughout my career. People I’d happily send my own family to. And yet… I know they wouldn’t be the right psychologist for everyone.
That’s because therapy isn’t just about qualifications or experience. It’s about the relationship between two people.
Some psychologists are very structured.
Some are warm and conversational.
Some are incredibly direct.
Others prefer to sit back and let you lead.
None of those approaches are wrong, but one of them might suit you better than another.
You should feel comfortable enough to be honest
One of the biggest signs you’ve found the right psychologist isn’t that they always know the perfect thing to say.
It’s that you find yourself saying things you’ve never really said out loud before.
You stop worrying about saying the “right” thing.
You don’t feel like you have to impress them.
You don’t spend the drive home wondering whether they judged you.
That level of comfort doesn’t always happen in the first session, but when it does develop, therapy tends to become much more meaningful.
You’re allowed to choose
This is something I wish more people knew.
If you’re seeing a GP for a Mental Health Treatment Plan, you can ask for a general referral instead of one addressed to a specific psychologist. That means you’re free to find someone who feels like the right fit for you.
Even if you’ve already been referred to someone, you can always go back to your GP and talk about changing. Most GPs genuinely want you to end up with someone you’ll work well with.
Sometimes a psychologist isn’t the right fit… and that’s OK!
I don’t take it personally if someone decides I’m not the right psychologist for them. Honestly, I’d much rather they find someone they genuinely connect with than keep coming because they feel they should.
I’ve even had conversations with people where I’ve suggested another psychologist because I thought they’d be a better fit.
That’s not a failure.
That’s good care.
At the end of the day, therapy isn’t about maintaining a client list. It’s about giving people the best chance of getting better.
If you’re not sure…
Give it a couple of sessions.
The first appointment is often a bit awkward. You’re sitting with a complete stranger and talking about parts of your life that you might not have told anyone else.
But after two or three sessions, ask yourself a simple question.
“Do I feel like this person gets me?”
Not, “Are they smart?”
Not, “Do they have lots of qualifications?”
Just…
“Do I feel understood?”
That’s usually the question that matters most. Because when you feel understood, the real work can begin.
